I was looking for a Bible verse that I could paraphrase in my story and I ran across a whole slew of advice/counseling for Christian teens in the about.com site that was really wonderful. One of the articles was about jealousy.
Envy
From time to time all of us experience envy. It’s just human nature, and one of those common emotions that people all over the world experience. If we don’t learn to overcome jealousy, that feeling of spite can take over our lives. The desire for something that someone else has can cause emotions inside ourselves that will eventually harm us and our relationships. So overcoming jealousy is an important part of our faith.
Have you ever felt a negativity toward someone and not realize it’s jealousy? I sure have. It’s easy to envy someone who is successful or happy rather than supporting and praising them for their accomplishments.
There are a number of Bible verses on jealousy, mostly because jealousy is an emotion that can easily lead us down a negative path. Jealousy can cloud our judgment, cause us to make bad decisions, and can even make us lose friends or alienate those for whom we care. Sometimes we think of jealousy as involving relationships, but it goes further than that. Jealousy is a common emotion today, mostly because we live in a materialistic society. Yet, we always need to remember…we can’t take it with us.
In particular I like this—Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Psalms 37:1-3
This is another favorite of mine: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
This verse really hits home with me, too—What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. James 4:1-2.
How many times do we justify our feelings of jealousy because everyone else does it? (I remember my mother and dad telling me just because everyone else does it doesn’t mean it’s right. J). Here’s a passage that will help with this faulty line of reasoning—Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2
Show-Off Straw
I like Mahoney’s (2011) advice. She says to know what the triggers are that causes your jealousy. When do you find yourself resenting others? By knowing the things that make us jealous we are given a heads up before we let jealousy get in the way of our relationships, or our goals. To be able to identify these triggers is a first step in overcoming jealousy.
Mahoney also says know what you can change and what you can’t. Often we get jealous of others abilities or material things. We waste time comparing ourselves to others. But remember that God created each of us to be our own individuals with our own strengths. Mahoney (2011) gives this example: Know that person who aces every test with ease when we spend hours and hours studying for the same grade? It’s easy to envy that person and not like them out of jealousy. However, your tenacity and approach to studying may be a skill that pays off later. You never know. And, too, I’ve known people who don’t appreciate their incredible smarts, or they are lazy, and don’t end up using the gift that God gave them. Too, your strengths may be your reasoning skills, or your methods of remembering. I always remembered the test problems I missed better than the ones I got right! Mahoney (2011) reminds us that we can’t be someone else—and you shouldn’t want to be someone else! Celebrate your strengths and know your weaknesses. We can focus on improving how we do things, but we cannot change all things about ourselves. Part of overcoming jealousy is that we have to know and accept the difference.
Know that what we might covet is not always good for us, (Mahoney, 2011). What someone else has isn’t always what we need in our lives. For instance, a friend may be able to hang out with the guy or girl who’s all that in school without temptation, but you may not. We may be jealous of relationships, but are we really ready to handle them? Another friend may have the newest video game, but maybe we may find out that if we had that game we’d lose focus on more important things. Just because someone else has it doesn’t mean it’s right for us, too.
Just the Way You Are
The most important thing to remember is that God loves us, just the way we are, (which makes the Bruno Mars song, Just the Way You Are, come into my head). Jealousy is really just a way of allowing the enemy to make you lose your focus on God. God provides everything we need. He created us in an image that He wanted for us, to do His will. We all look different, act different, think different, because God created each of us that way, and what a boring world we would be in if we were all the same! We need to embrace how God created us. That sounds easy on paper, sure. But it’s important when trying to overcome jealousy. And we need to find the reason that God put us on this earth–what our mission is and what He wants us to do to glorify Him.
Rely on your relationship with God. When we feel jealousy and envy, we need to look to God as soon as possible. It’s okay to ask God why. Sometimes God can use the feeling to make us better, to strive for goals. However, we need to ask God in a way that we can accept when He tells us that what someone else has just isn’t for us. Develop a relationship with God where we know He has different plans for us. We must rely on Him to give us the strength to overcome jealousy when it just doesn’t seem to go away.
Reference
Mahoney, K. (2011). Overcoming jealousy. Reference from http://christianteens.about.com/od/advice/a/Overcoming-Jealousy.htm
